I’m so excited for today’s installment of my ongoing series of interviews with elopement and proposal vendors. Today we learn more about Judie Guild, perhaps the most prolific elopement officiant in New York City. I first met Judie four summers ago, back in July of 2012, for a Prospect Park elopement. I’ve worked with her dozens of times since and each time she has been so lovely to work with. I can tell the couples who choose her are truly thrilled. She has a gentle peace and calm about her. You can also tell she really loves what she does.
Usually when shooting an elopement with Judie as the officiant, we will often be the first to arrive. Throughout the course of last year I mentioned only in brief snippets the difficult year I was having (a whole lot of moving going on, in addition to other things) and she remembered. Randomly one day late last year I received a package in the mail. It was from Judie, who was so sweet and sent me some fancy salt (In many cultures, salt and bread are blessings for a new home). It was such a touching gesture and completely unexpected (and delicious!!!).
And that’s the kind of person she is. She is filled with light!
Now: onto the interview!
Tell us a little about yourself!
I grew up way out east on Long Island — past where the fork splits — and I live in Queens. Nine guests were present when I married. I am a morning person. I have two small dogs. I am a bit short. I was almost an academic, and I love books. I value ethics. My embrace of technology is lukewarm. I know almost nothing about popular music, among countless other things. I absolutely enjoy life as a celebrant.
What do you love about elopements?
A wedding is a celebration of the past, present, and future prospects. The size is irrelevant. When couples invite more than a few dozens guests, the joy is contagious and even delirious in the best way possible. Large weddings can be brilliant family reunions. Eloping couples likewise share particularly wonderful experiences. If you invite only the photographer, kids, pets, a friend, or four relatives, then possibilities of location, style, and travel open. I appreciate how closely elopements relate to everyday life. Eloping supports space to do what the couple desires. Some couples unite a well-deserved vacation with getting married. Some exchange vows and then see a play. And some marry and watch movies for the rest of the day.
How many elopements have you officiated? How long have you been doing this?
I first officiated a ceremony in June 2008 on Staten Island. Since then, I have witnessed at least 1600 couples exchange vows or renew their vows. I speculate that about 1200 of those NYC marriage ceremonies took place with fewer than two dozen relatives and friends present.
What’s the process like for you from the point the client reaches out to you to the big day?
I try to keep my life and your ceremony straightforward. The decision to marry is serious. The process of marrying should be easy. Once a couple confirms their interest and logistics, I request that they select readings and vows. Many couples readily pick favorite quotes and poems. Some share what they love about each other, which I may then integrate as a sweet surprise in the prelude to their vows. And others merely inform me that they prefer a classic “I do” vow. Each is equally valid and profound. In fact, I no longer require a retainer or deposit, as I discovered that vow choices are simply more important.
What’s the most unique elopement you’ve done?
For some reason, I find this question difficult. My memory is not functioning properly right now. One groom interrupted his Central Park ceremony to go put on a Batman costume because his partner “always wanted to marry Batman.” Apparently, this was to be a surprise for me too! More recently, a couple was able to marry in a Broadway theater. Previously, I had not realized that a full theater wedding was on my bucket list.
What are some challenges faced?
Rarely do genuine issues occur. My biggest fears include being late or not pronouncing a name correctly. On the couple’s end, a forgotten license, a witness who becomes lost in the park, or a super storm are not common. Only twice can I recall couples who completely forgot their rings. More likely, couples feel pressure to do more. Flowers are pretty, yet not necessary. If heels hurt you, skip them. Personal wedding vows can trouble even writers. Convincing couples that all they really need are love and the license is hardest task. Sometimes, when too many options exist or we think too much, our stress levels increase dramatically. Overall, weddings mandate sensitivity and honoring boundaries. The significance of something to one person may not translate to another.
Where is your favorite spot in NYC for an elopement?
I greatly appreciate couples who pick places in which I have yet to officiate a wedding. Someday, I hope I am invited to officiate a ceremony in the famous Green-wood cemetery or chapel. In NYC, my personal favorites include Fort Tryon Park, the steps of the New York Public Library, the 6BC Garden, the Merchant House Museum, Brooklyn Botanical Garden’s rose garden, the Roosevelt Island Tram, the Voelker Orth House, and the Queens County Farm. I really liked 5 Pointz, which is sadly no longer there. Quirky and old-fashioned, classy hotels are fantastic too. Please forgive me, but I also enjoy officiating ceremonies in churches, although I am not traditionally religious. Once, I was able to marry a couple legitimately (as in not a stealth wedding) in a stunning church on the Upper East Side because the couple knew the priest there. This was a lovely experience.
In the end, where a couple marries does not matter. Mutual respect, gratitude, affection, and a willingness to learn make happy, healthy marriages.
